It has been an interesting few days here at Cooper Towers. Just as Pete began his “two weeks without a computer” challenge (which needs a snappier name), I came down with a stinker of a cold. It may have been flu. In the intervening ten days I have been snuffling, wheezing and coughing in varying amounts – generally enough to keep at least me from sleeping.

I was levered out of my sick bed to go and visit a certain relative. It was clear that ‘no’ was not an acceptable answer, and both Pete and I were under the impression that there was an underlying reason for us to visit – but that turned out not to be the case. Glossing over the the joy of being summoned, we tried to make the most of it, and in fact said relative appeared to be on good form and wasn’t rude about my hair or anything.

On the way home though, we had our usual ‘debrief’ in the car and it turned out that this relative had, in fact, said something very rude. About me. To Pete. And managed to do it in such a way that it was also an insult to Pete’s intelligence.

It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the words that were actually spoken. “Emma’s never been very fond of housework” is a perfectly true statement. If you ask me to my face, I will confirm it – I am not fond of housework. I haven’t met anyone who admits to being fond of housework; I know such people exist, but I think they’re a little odd. Which is fine – I like odd people.

My relative wanted to make sure that Pete understood that we would not be able to sell this house in its current condition – it would have to be properly cleaned before we allowed prospective buyers in. Pete is offended by the implication that he couldn’t work this out for himself.

I am offended for two reasons. The first is the implication that keeping this house clean is my responsibility – that’s just sexist. Two of us live here and make a mess. The second is the implication is that I’m an embarrassment because my house is not spotless. None of my other achievements count for anything if the sink isn’t shiny. I am letting the side down, a disappointment. It’s not that I didn’t know this already – my relative has merely voiced what had previously been an unspoken (but obvious) opinion.

For the record, if you’ve ever watched ‘How clean is your house?’ or any of the other programs that clean up festy hovels, I can say for certain that our house would not qualify. We do clean it sometimes, it’s just not a priority. If you were to visit, you would not be risking your health. It does not smell.

Apparently blood is thicker than water. I would imagine that makes it harder to get out of carpet, but I wouldn’t know – I am not fond of housework.

I’ve signed up for a free design and planning short course at the National Self Build and Renovation Centre next weekend.

I’ve had mixed experiences with these guys before – I’m currently trying to book onto one of their paid self-build courses but the person who handles bookings is proving quite tricky to track down and pay. I’m sure they’d be happy accepting my money, but they’re not keen to take it! Perversely, the free courses they offer are a doddle to book and always very good – but the paid one I’m after is still a work-in-progress to sort.

Not only that, I’m going to peek at the Cooper Acres house plans once again later today. The chap who’s going to convert the garage into a kitchen at Cooper Towers is coming round today, so I’m in the right mindset. Hopefully it won’t become an obsession over the coming days.

Lots of busy work coming up this week, so it might be a good time to dip my toes back into the murky waters of self-build – I simply don’t have the time for it to become an all-encompassing fixation.

Pete and I have a gas oven and hob that has served us fairly faithfully since we bought it in (must have been) 2001. We had a teensy weensy grill fire once, and since then the fan hasn’t worked particularly well – it comes on for a minute or so and then cuts out, rinse and repeat. No matter. Yesterday it decided that it was going to stay on permanently for some reason. Since we’re planning a new kitchen anyway, we took the easy solution – we turn the cooker off at the socket so the fan has no power.

We don’t use the oven that much, but we use the grill quite regularly. The grill has a black enamel tray, and we’ve always lined it with aluminium foil to reflect the heat better. We use recycled foil now (and not that much of it, since we don’t use it for anything else), but you can’t recycle it once it has been used in the grill because it’s far too greasy.

The grill pan gets very gungy. Everytime I get fed up with that grill smell I change the foil and wash out the pan. It’s a nasty job, and it’s always me that does it. Personally I would prefer not to line the tray with foil, but to treat it like a frying pan and wash it after every use. Pete won’t let me do that, because he reckons the lack of foil will mean everything takes longer to cook and we will be wasting energy.

Is he right? Is there a better solution that we haven’t thought of?

Ever since Pete and I became self-employed (3+ years ago now), we’ve faced the same question – “What do you do?”. At the beginning it came from ex-colleagues we bumped into. Some of them were just being polite; I think others were hoping to discover our escape tunnel for themselves.

We see less and less of them these days, but we see more of other people. And our answer to date has been a kind of off-hand phrase designed to kill people’s interest: “internet marketing, it’s quite hard to explain”. It never does put people off, though, and they insist on more long-winded answers that they usually don’t understand. But what they really want to know is whether we can help them with their computer problems or tell them how to make the internet work for them.

There are various other professions it’s best not to own up to in public. If you’re a doctor then it means people shoving their body parts in your face and expecting a consultation. Accounts are asked tricky tax questions. Lawyers are asked for free legal assistance. I’m sure there are plenty more.

Pete likes to invent fantasy jobs that are far more interesting – but less prone to exploitation – than his own; I hate lying to people. I reckon I’ve come up with a workable solution though – job titles which are aspects of what we do, that we’re happy to talk about and that aren’t the kind of thing that usually involves offering on-the-spot advice.

From now on, I am going to be The Emma Cooper (someone called me that recently, which was quite entertaining), author. My first book, The Alternative Kitchen Garden: An A to Z was published last summer. When asked the inevitable question “is it doing well?” I shall respond with a simple and resounding “Yes”, as it’s actually very difficult to quantify. I am currently working on my second book and my articles appear in various magazines and newspapers from time to time.

Pete is going to be a Trainer. Also true, it was the last role he had before he became self-employed. Although he hasn’t run any training courses since, it’s something he would like to get back into and we are currently planning a pair of courses although that’s in the early stages and we can’t give any more details at the moment. Or maybe we can – you’d have to ask Pete :)

I know that a lot of people think of the internet as a wild and scary place, but it’s important to remember that it’s not really made up of a lot of computers and cables, but people. Behind every website there’s a real person. It always saddens me that the first response of people who have a problem with something that has been posted on the internet is often anger and/ or aggression. Perhaps they would take this tack if they were dealing with people face-to-face, but I suspect not. I suspect most people are decent people and, in the first instance, would attempt at least a polite first encounter.

Those of you who listen to the show will know that of late, Pete and I have had to deal with a couple of people who were less than polite. I occasionally have the same problem over on my other website, which is why this morning I have taken the time to write a post about Japanese Knotweed.

To sum up, Japanese Knotweed was introduced to the UK as an ornamental plant, but unfortunately has become an invasive weed. The problem is so bad the disposing of this plant incorrectly will land you in trouble. If you have Japanese Knotweed in your garden then it pays to be a good neighbour and to try and keep it under control.

Foragers (very trendy right now) understand that one of the ways to control this plant is to eat it. Apparently (and I can’t comment, because I’ve never tried it, we don’t have this weed in our garden) Japanese Knotweed can be used as a free rhubarb alternative. Those in the know says it is actually nicer than rhubarb, and can be made into crumble, pie and fool in exactly the same way. I have links to more recipes in my original post, all provided online by friendly people who are simply trying to share information with other people who might find it useful.

So, in a spirit of cooperation, if you have a blog or website and can write something relevant, it might be nice if you linked to this post, or my original post on Japanese Knotweed recipes, so the information can be shared far and wide :)

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If you find this post a little strange it may be because someone upset me this morning. And it’s possible I have heat stroke. Either way, expect normal service to resume soon :D

Pete and I have recently been told that we hold antiquated liberal views and have an awful anti-Daily Mail bias (have you seen The Daily Mail song? It’s awesome). Apparently the world would be a better place if we moved somewhere without electricity, but I’m sure we’ll talk about that some more in the next episode of the show.

There’s a General Election looming in the UK, allegedly a chance to express our views and vote in a government who represents us and has our welfare at heart. Given that voter apathy has been increasing alarmingly and there doesn’t seem to be much to choose from between the three main parties (actually two, since the Liberal Democrats don’t make much headway), that doesn’t seem likely to happen.

I have never been into politics much, I find politicians dull and most of them appear quite weasely (although ours is Dr Evan Harris and he seems like a genuine chap). But over the last couple of years, several things have made me angry enough to consider getting more involved. The first was the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, which we protested (Pete actually went on the march). So many protestors, so little notice taken by the government.

Last year I wrote to the Home Office because I wanted a license to grow hemp in the back garden. Hemp, a really useful plant that has been grown through the ages and has been bred to contain so little THC it wouldn’t be worth smoking. They said no. No doubt I’m on some list somewhere, now, too. But as well as being disappointing it has brought to my attention the ludicrous drug laws we have in this country, which (to my mind) simply encourage illegal drug-trafficking and criminalise thousands of young people for whom the government has failed to create a bright future. The latest scandal about mephedrone just adds to my concerns.

And now there’s the Digital Economy Bill, which in its current form contains legislation that would disconnect internet connections which had been used to ‘violate copyright’ – without trial and regardless of who had committed the offence. Free wi-fi hotspots and internet cafes are likely to be the first victims as they won’t be able to risk a fine. And why exactly is Peter Mandelson, a man who has been forced to resign from government several times due to various scandals, still steering policy? Or being seen in public life at all for that matter. He should retire and write his memoirs so we can all vote with our wallets and not buy then book.

All of which is combining to make me more and more Libertarian – resenting the constant interference of big government in affairs I am quite happy to take personal responsibility for. It is interesting to be re-evaluating my political stance in the run up to a General Election. How will I vote? Probably for the Green Party.

As a fairly long-tem Apple Mac user, there’s been a period of around 7 years or so where I moved from a Windows computer to a purely Mac environment. I use Macs for my business – for repetitive grunt-work and the more exploratory and creative stuff, which is arguably more fun, in the conventional sense of the word.

A large part of my daily Mac experience is processing tasks, doing stuff, and doing it in an efficient way. I’m a big fan of workflows and getting things ‘just so’ and to my liking. This invariably involves using a bunch of software from a bunch of software developers outside of the Apple campus. They make (usually) small, efficient applications that integrate well with Mac OS (the Apple version of Windows, if you like). If someone were to ask me for an app recommendation for doing a given task on a Mac, I would most likely have one that I use, or know of one that the might get them going.

Enter Macheist. They’re Mac app brokers. They don’t release applications themselves, but some individuals within the Macheist staff are involved in software development projects in various ways. Every so often, normally once a year, they release a cut-price bundle of 3rd party Mac applications with a value of hundreds of US dollars, with proceeds split between the developers, Macheist, and reputable charities. These Mac software bundles are becoming more commonplace across the Interwebs. Whether this is due to economic conditions and/or developers fighting for lebensraum is up for debate; frankly, I don’t know the reasoning behind it.

To market the latest Macheist bundle (codenamed ‘nanobundle2’ and released March 2nd/3rd, 2010), there was a multiple day real-time countdown timer on the front page of macheist.com with a natty HTML5 animated graphic of crated-up Mac apps being taken off a lorry, the premise presumably being they were preparing the big launch for when the counter hit zero.

When zero hour arrived, thousands of excitable Mac nerds – me included – were curious to see what was in store with this bundle. Now, I only picked up on this bundle around 12 hours before it was launched, I hadn’t been ruminating and getting twitchy for the week or so before the bundle actually launched, so I was sort-of excited, and sort-of assumed it would be a big, damp blob of boring anti-climax.

After a delay of 40 minutes (this tweet summed up the unexpected wait perfectly), the bundle deal was announced. 20 US bucks gets you full, legit versions of this little lot:

• MacJournal (normally $40)
• Ripit ($20)
• Clips ($27)
• Coverscout ($40)
• Flow ($25)
• Tales Of Monkey Island ($35)
• Rapidweaver ($79)

The pricing is such that, even if you use one or two apps, it’s a good deal for the consumer. The first thing that struck me, rather selfishly, is that this bundle wasn’t a good fit for me. Which is fine, and not something I’m going to hold a grudge over. Sure, I’ll admit I was disappointed when the list was revealed, and there were subsequent grumblings (along with pre-launch frustrations at the wait) on my Twitter stream.

A few things troubled me slightly. First, an open letter on the Macheist forums made it clear that Mac developers would be ruling themselves out of inclusion in the annual Macheist bundles if their apps were in other (competing?) software bundles. Sort of a “you’re with us, or you’re against us”, which is something I guess you can dictate when you run the place, which the author of the post/letter does. The reason I mention this is down to Ripit – a DVD ripping app that’s streets ahead of anything else in the class. I use it daily, and have total confidence in it doing what I want it to do. I got Ripit in a MacUpdate bundle in mid-2009. I don’t need another licence for it, thanks. Macjournal was in TheMacSale last year, which makes two of the bunch which are already in bundles elsewhere. Perhaps the nanoBundle doesn’t count as an annual bundle, as mentioned in the open letter, either way it’s a bit odd to have statements of intent and then muddy the waters.

Playing the Rapidweaver card is clever, although it has been included as a cut-price item on the regular MacUpdate promotions (which is where my copy came from). I don’t use Rapidweaver often, but when people ask me for pretty websites (and there are some people I can’t say no to, despite my better judgement), I can throw something together quickly enough to fit their budget.

What really annoyed me is the way Flow was presented. Flow appears to be an FTP client and file editor. Macheist intro’d the app as follows:

1998 called… it wants its file transfer app back
Are you still using Transmit, an app that dates all the way back to MacOS 8? Well, if so, then it’s time to make room for the new kid in town… Flow.

Wow. I was speechless. Way to go, Macheist, knocking the competition before you’ve even explained what the app actually does. I point the finger at Macheist rather than the developers of Flow, presumably they have marketeers and copywriters who vet the text before it hits the web. And this got through, which bothered me. I’m not a tree-hugging hippy (well, I am a bit), but poking fun at your competitors doesn’t sit well with me. Update: according to this tweet, it looks like the text in question came from MH, not ExtendMac.

It continues…they then go on to say:

And we’re not talking about a gimped editor… it has powerful features like syntax coloring, multiple tabs, and code-suggestion.

On a technical note, there are also niggles. Firstly, Transmit is made by Panic, a long-standing and respected Mac software developer – until yesterday I’d never heard of Extendmac. Secondly, comparing Flow to Transmit is like comparing iTunes to Quicktime Player. Panic also make the excellent Coda, which is in many ways very similar to Flow (FTP client, viewer, editor, plus “syntax coloring, multiple tabs, and code-suggestion”, and a shedload more stuff besides). Established, stable, does the job, exactly the things I want from a Mac app.

Neil Dixon, author of SEO Webmonkey has written about his thoughts on this Macheist bundle thing in a far more succinct fashion, and I urge you to read it – I’m glad I wasn’t the only one affected by this (besides, I haven’t blogged anything in about a billion years, so I have to start back somewhere, right?). Update: another Mac user whose opinions I trust, Jen, has similar concerns about Macheist.

There are many people who are already saying they’re going to buy this bundle because of the 25% charity donation, despite not being over-enamoured with the app selection, which seems odd to me. A few dollars/pounds/groats/etc in a charity collection tin or whatever would service the charities far more effectively if software is not your primary concern. It also begs the question that if the bundle is considered mediocre by Macheist standards, does this lower the standards of the next one, either from a consumer point of view or from the Macheist HQ app acquisition process.

I, maybe rather childishly, don’t even want to download a trial of Flow to see if it is better than Coda, purely on the basis of the unprofessional Macheist copywriting. Ultimately, I can destroy thousands of hours of development time and marketing by saying: “don’t need, got, don’t need, don’t need, don’t need, I’m useless at games, got”. Which is not to say I’m ungrateful. Frustrated, yes, a little – but today is continuing as it was going to, regardless of new software arriving. Expectations and enthusiasm for the ‘main’ bundle (Macheist 4?) are a bit lower with the past 24 hours in mind.

Pete and I are not big fans of Ugg boots. It’s not the boots themselves, more the fact that everyone on the planet seems to think they suit them and that they’re suitable for wearing in all weather conditions. And the fact that if you so much as mention Ugg on Twitter you’re asking to be spammed into oblivion.

And so we’ve taken to playing the Ugg game. Whenever we’re out and about we look out for people wearing Ugg boots. Whoever sees them first shouts “Ugg!” very loudly, and whoever sees the most during the course of the trip is declared the winner. It’s like looking for pub signs, only more repetitive.

Which was why I was tickled this morning to see that Footlocker have a page specifically for people who search their site for Ugg boots (don’t forget we can save you money if you’re buying Ugg-free footwear from Footlocker).

If you’re an Ugg fan, however, rest assured that you can buy them from Eastbay and we can also offer you a discount there.

(Don’t worry, it’s a safe for work rant, no bleep-worthy swearies here, no sir.)

I must declare my fondness for absinthe from the get-go. It’s a strange and mysterious drink, ideal for lazy afternoons watching the world drift by, evening fireside chats and late-night heavy-duty rumination. It’s a perfect drink for people like me with odd brain-wiring.

I was first introduced to absinthe around 3 years ago by Jen of regularjen.com (latterly also of absinthehour.com), my first purchase being a 70cl bottle of Verte de Fougerolles 72abv from Liqueurs de France, a joy to behold and – more importantly – drink.

Another 3 bottles of different brands and types followed after that, and following a recent spate of sociable activities involving introducing more people to absinthe, I was running a bit low on stock. I had about two measures of Clandestine blue left in the bottle. Fast forward to last weekend, and it was time to place an order for reinforcements.

My usual absinthe supplier, eabsinthe, had all the stuff I wanted, all apparently in stock:

Clandestine Capricieuse Absinthe 72abv 70cl
Eichelberger 68 Limitée 68%abv 50cl
La Fee Parisienne 68abv 50cl Gift Boxed

An order for 106GBP was placed (including duty and 9.95GBP for shipping), email confirmation was received. The weekend was a Bank Holiday, meaning that the whole country has a day off on Monday, little or no order processing takes place. I was expecting the order to be processed on Tuesday, despatched same day or next day, and arrive next day or the day after.

My order status was updated on the Tuesday from ‘Processing’ to ‘Despatched’. Lovely, absinthe on the way! I received an automated despatch from eabsinthe saying that my order had been despatched by Parcel Force and had a tracking number of PBJC1028416001.

Some alarm bells immediately rang in my head: Parcel Force are a frankly god-awful courier firm. Rarely do any Parcel Force transactions go well for me. Maybe I’m just jinxed, but they just don’t hit the spot for me. I won’t go into it here, suffice to say if something’s being delivered by PF, I’m not exactly over-confident. Most sensible couriers deliver here during the morning, when we’re in. Mr City Link is usually between 8am and 9am, the others arrive mid to late morning. Parcel Force leave us to the last drop of the day, usually. The time varies wildly. I digress.

Another alarm bell: the tracking number didn’t check out on the Parcel Force site. To be frank, my slightly OCD brain didn’t immediately think the reference number looked like a legit tracking number – I thought Royal Mail and Parcel Force tracking IDs ended in GB. After a day of waiting for a package to arrive on Wednesday, I re-checked the Parcel Force website to see if the tracking number was playing ball. It wasn’t.

No delivery on Thursday, either. Late Thursday afternoon, I used the eabsinthe contact form to get a valid tracking number and to see what was happening to my package. By mid-afternoon today (we’re on Friday), no packages had arrived, no reply to my contact form submission and a sense of humour failure was imminent. I tried (and failed) to find a phone number for eabsinthe. Nothing listed on the website. Hmm, more alarm bells.

Some more digging gave me a direct email, to which I sent an enquiry email, an email which – by my admittedly verbose standards – was quite terse and to-the-point, requesting a refund. An apologetic email came back an hour or so later from a chap at the customer service dept at eabsinthe explaining that one of the items was out-of-stock for duty paid customers and was holding up my order and a refund will be following shortly. Without reproducing his email here (I don’t do that without prior permission), he was genuinely apologetic that I hadn’t been kept updated on order progress etc. I’m assuming there were export bottles of the Eichelberger 68 in stock for despatch to America, but none for me, the dude just down the road. Nice.

I don’t know why I got a tracking number for a package that didn’t exist. This isn’t cheap tat off eBay (‘yes mate, i’ve posted it yesterday, honest. here’s the badly-Photoshopped tracking receipt’). I don’t know why people still use Parcel Force as a courier. There are cheaper and better alternatives readily available (City Link is my personal fave right now).

Before I ordered from eabsinthe, I was greeted by a shouty banner proclaiming 25% off selected absinthes for non-EU destinations. Lovely, I thought. A great way to make Limey purchasers feel instantly ripped-off. Note to anyone running an ecommerce outlet: by all means have these offers for certain geographical areas, just have something in place to not advertise them to ineligible parties (like me). IP filtering, geographical whizziness, I don’t care – just don’t bark about great deals that are irrelevant to me.

Bad experience of purchasing, duff tracking number, sketchy info on the website, no phone number listed…confidence in eabsinthe as a supplier is now zero. This whole bad experience has certainly put me off buying any La Feé in future – I certainly won’t be returning to eabsinthe or buying anything that supports the eabsinthe empire. I’ll take my expensive absinthe habit elsewhere, thanks.

Hopefully it’s a horrible one-off experience, somehow I think I won’t be the last person to fall foul of George Rowley’s eabsinthe.

By the time we got back from the cruise I was feeling a bit under the weather, like I had a permanent cold. After a few weeks at home nothing had changed, and so I decided to try giving up cow’s milk as catarrah can be a symptom of lactose intolerance. This is a big deal for me – if there are three foods I would be hard pressed to live without it would be milk, butter and tea.

So we went to the supermarket to look into alternatives and I came home with soy milk, oat milk and rice milk (long life cartons) and fresh goat milk. The goat milk turned out to be the easiest to convert to – although it has a stronger flavour than cow’s milk, I have no problem with it and goat’s milk works everywhere I want to use it.

Soy milk is quite nice to drink on its own (and strawberry soy milk shakes are very nice), but it makes horrible tea. I suspect rice milk is the same – in tea it tastes like it came out of a vending machine, very nasty – but I haven’t steeled myself to drink any yet. Oat milk I have had before – it’s OK to drink and would be OK on porridge, but again it’s unpleasant in tea.

I can drink my tea black – especially something posh like Darjeeling – but prefer not to for everyday tea.

So I’m quite happily settling down to goat’s milk (and I’ve found UHT cartons to keep in store for supply emergencies), and a couple of little health niggles have improved as a result, so I am more than happy to continue avoiding cow’s milk.

However, this situation is not without its issues. Most cheese is off the menu, as is yoghurt. In fact, most desserts seem to have cow’s milk in them. There was one which even had added milk sugar, which is just rude. I was looking at the bars of chocolate in Tesco yesterday and even their fair trade plain chocolate said “Plain chocolate may contain milk” on it*. I understand it’s just a disclaimer, and trace amounts aren’t likely to be a problem, but it exemplifies a problem with processed foods in general – most of them contain cow’s milk and are now off the menu. Pete and I are moving towards eating less processed food anyway, but we’re not very organised and there are still plenty of days when it would just be nice to go into a shop and buy something to eat.

It’s all still new and uncomfortable, but no doubt we will get used to it soon. In the meantime, Pete has the job of eating his way through the small mountain of cow’s cheese in the fridge by himself. It may take him a while.

*There are vegan chocolate suppliers, I will have to seek them out. It’s not that I eat a lot of chocolate, just that I don’t want to give it up entirely.